written with guest Kristin DiCarlo, BScN, MN NP

Be honest: How much time do you spend thinking about how you look or how much you weigh? What you are eating or not eating? Criticizing your body or your willpower or your ability to stick to your goals? How often do you notice yourself focusing on all the things you’re doing wrong when it comes to changing?

Making lifestyle changes can seem overwhelming and exhausting, leaving us with less energy to enjoy our lives. But it doesn’t have to be.

In this article, we are going to talk about the right way versus the wrong way to approach our health goals. And it’s probably not what you think!

When you want to make improvements to your lifestyle, whether that is losing weight, increasing exercise, managing a chronic health condition, changing your diet, or reducing alcohol or stress, part of the answer is always to do what works for you and what will work for you in the long run. But the biggest key to achieving your health goals is shifting your mindset.

Yes, we must change the what: What we eat, what we do, what we choose. But if we want to make these changes permanent – we have to understand why we do or don’t do things in the first place. We must pull back the curtain and change not only our behaviours and habits, but our reasons and beliefs. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

Connect with Your Why

Decide why you want to make this change in your life. Why is this important to you?

Any impactful and long-lasting change will not feel easy. This is normal. The brain craves familiarity and ease and wants to keep things the same. Your why must be so powerful that it overrides the discomfort that comes from shaking things up in your life. Your compelling reason must make the discomfort of changing worth it. For example, you may want to exercise to increase your stamina so you can keep up with your grandkids. Or perhaps you want to incorporate more whole, nutrient rich foods in order to improve your gut health and manage your symptoms.

Start with Mindset

Too often, we beat ourselves up for not having the body, the health, or results that we want. It’s important to pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that are fueling your health journey. We can’t shame ourselves into changing, even though we may think this approach will work. Many of us try to change from a place of self-loathing. With this attitude, we have thoughts like “I don’t like my body. I’m weak. I never stick to my plan. My body is broken.” This does not work, ever.

The more we look down on ourselves, the worse we treat ourselves. We choose diets that aren’t healthy. We restrict ourselves. We rely on sheer willpower and resistance. We over-exercise. We create unrealistic standards and adopt all or nothing thinking. We set hard rules for ourselves about what we are and aren’t allowed to do.

This approach sets you up to give up.

Instead, practice honoring yourself and your body. Start from a place of love and care and compassion for yourself. Doesn’t this sound better than resistance and resentment and frustration? This means learning to love and appreciate your body, to listen, and to understand it. Appreciate your abilities and the qualities that are uniquely yours. Do the work to love yourself now and to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Put loving limits on the harmful things you say to yourself. Actively engage in the process of believing new things about what you are capable of. For example, I can do hard things. I can handle difficult situations. I can gain new skills. I am learning to care for my body.

Many of us mistakenly believe that when we reach our goals, we will finally be good enough. When we think this way, we end up constantly trying to earn our self-worth and making our self-love conditional on our progress. When we can accept ourselves now, we will start to feel love and compassion instead of shame and dissatisfaction. From a place of love, we will show up and treat ourselves completely differently. We will make healthier, better choices.

Focus on Awareness

Become a compassionate, curious observer of yourself. There are always reasons behind your choices, most of which are habits. And there is always a feeling driving your actions. It is so important to get curious about the why behind your current behaviors.

When we are busy judging ourselves, we cannot be compassionate. We cannot be curious. To unlock our ability to change, we must start to question what we do and why we do it. This of course, starts in the mind.

It’s time to develop an awareness of our thoughts and beliefs. We must start to notice how we are talking to ourselves. After all, what we think is what we create. We will always create more of what we believe. If we believe thoughts such as “I am not good enough” or “it’s impossible for me to get healthier”, you will find and create more evidence to prove yourself true. If you believe that you are incapable of reaching your health goals, your brain is going to show you exactly how right you are.

So, pay attention. We cannot change what we cannot see.

What do you think about yourself?
What are you telling yourself when you think about your body?
What do you believe about your ability to make the changes you desire?
What do you believe about your capacity to change your own life?
Do you think you deserve it?

Start to decide what you genuinely want for yourself and your health in the long term.

You create sustainable changes by first doing the work of developing compassion for yourself, and then deciding to challenge your own mind.

Choose Power Thoughts

Be aware of thoughts that disempower you. For example, “When I am finally thin, then I will be happy” or “I must be lazy if I cannot stick to my workout plan, or “I am not allowing myself to eat that anymore”.

Start to shift away from focusing on what you are doing wrong and what you must restrict. These kinds of thoughts create feelings of deprivation and scarcity.

Intentionally practice empowering thoughts such as:
-          I am deciding to make this change for my own health and wellbeing
-          I am making the decision to take care of my body
-          I am learning to feel good and strong
-          I am choosing foods to nourish my body and mind
-          I prioritize sleep and rest to let my body rejuvenate and repair
-          I will figure out what works best for me

These thoughts create feelings of determination, courage, excitement, and nonjudgment, which will drive you to take action to reach your goal.

It’s Time to Move Forward in a New Way…

What if you decide you are going to take care of yourself physically and mentally starting now? And what if you decide the underlying feelings you want to generate are compassion, self-acceptance, determination, but most importantly unconditional love?

What if you choose to keep going? You can get anywhere if you decide not to stop and I’m here to cheer for you and guide you along the way!